Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Difficult questions

Innocent Curiosity by Lois Virginia Babb
Innocent Curiosity

When I was reading this post, I thought about the difficult questions children often ask us. Children ask many, many things but some questions are easier to answer than others. I think that the two main difficult areas for most people are death and sex. But for me, it is definitely death. With my daughter, I have never lied or tried to whitewash facts. She is seven now and can understand things better now than when she was three and started asking questions about death. But I have always talked about death with her in a natural way and she attends wakes and funerals, though some people criticize me for that. She goes to nursing homes with me, she just doesn't go to the hospital because she's not allowed in there, and she has already seen a dead body. So death is not a taboo subject among us. The difficult part comes when she asks me why do good and/or young people die, why doesn't God heal everyone if He is a God that heals. As adults, we also ask these questions and I know I have spent a great part of my adult life searching for answers everywhere. When I became a born-again Christian, I realized that there are certain things that I cannot understand, but I trust that God is in control and knows what is best for us. «Man's goings are of the LORD; how can a man then understand his own way?» (Proverbs 20:24).
Now tell me about the difficult questions you have been asked and how you dealt with them.


newlife3 said...

Hi Lara,

I enjoyed this post, as I'm sure others will, because we have all been there (or all will be) with our children at some point. And I agree with you about answering (most) questions matter-of-factly instead of trying to make things up when we ourselves don't know all the answers.

My mom always told me (and still reminds me) that we deal with death in different ways at different stages in our life. When my daughter was about 5, my Grandmother, who DD had only met once or twice, cried incessantly that she "missed" Grandma C. I think she just knew that Grandma wasn't around anymore, and that scared her because she was relating that to her parents - she wondered what would happen to her if me or her Dad passed. More recently, my aunt passed away, and my now-11 year old daughter dealt with it much more matter-of-factly. It is still scary for a child, but not quite as surreal I think. She now understands the concept of heaven, and that God is the one that makes these decisions - even if we don't understand why at that moment. On the other hand, I have not yet told her that my other aunt died years ago, because she died of alcohol-related issues, and that's not something I'm ready to discuss yet. Obviously she doesn't remember her, or she'd be asking questions - she doesn't miss much. I always stop and reflect on my own reaction every time someone close dies - and I'm amazed that my mom is, again, right.

Wow...sorry...I've written a book already. The other issue I've had to deal with is, as you mentioned, sex, marriage, divorce, etc. Now THAT is a whole post in itself in our household.


Lady Katherine said...

My five year old grandson ,he knows my Mother and Hubbys parents have gone to Heaven. He asks if I am going to heaven soon, but he does not want his Granpappy to ever go! I told him Granpappy would live to be an old man. Then he says, Granpappy will get a pretty girl friend, that looks just like you! It was a little hard, but I did have to laugh! Only hubby would probably go for a blonde! lol